Day 4: 5:47pm

I cannot believe what 4 days of drive and motivation has done for me. I have boundless energy over what I had. I actually WANT to get up in the morning, wash my face, and put clothes on. I'm on a diet that's not horrible at all, and really feeling good inside and outside. I also have to take a minute to thank Kieran. I seriously was just scoping Facebook like a lazy butthole, not doing anything with myself, and I happened to catch a glimpse into someone else for a moment and really connect with how they were feeling.

Simply the knowledge of someone else out there sharing my feelings and standing up to make a change, set my whole New Year into motion. I'm dieting. I'm exercising. I'm smiling. Thanks a lot Kieran. And thanks to Kam for her encouraging comments and support. Beautiful people man....

So, today I woke up nice and early. I filled out my application and I'm gonna hand it in tomorrow. I didn't do my walk, but I worked out at home, and stuck to my strict diet! I'm feeling so much energy. I'm so happy. Stupid things aren't bothering me. My home life is whatever. I've taken independency for myself. People's dirty looks or comments do not bother me, because they are WRONG and NEGATIVE people. I am going to do well and lose weight and be working. And school is just a week away. Good things are coming.

I quarreled with the bf a little bit because on New Years he got a little drunk and pissed me off. When a friend of mine texted and asked me about it, the bf got really defensive and deleted the person from his facebook. Unfortunately, the misinterpretation is causing me some stress because my bf feels kinda dumb and yet again may have to apologize and add this person back. I love him..but sometimes he really puts me in an unnecessary and awkward place. This particular friend is like one of my best friends. I hope this gets solved. But I can't change it. Since no harsh words were spoken, I'm hoping this will work itself out. And I hope more that my friend understands that I had no control. I hope he does :(

But anyhow. I can't stay mad. It's unhealthy for me right now. I know he's my friend and he's not going anywhere. I have faith in that friendship. :: fist pound ::

But this is about me. And I've vowed only to get involved if nasty things go down. Which won't because my bf is just a boob sometimes. I hope this works out!

I'm about to have an awesome dinner I'm allowed to have and go for a walk twice around the block. Hopefully I can make it till later tonight!

Love you all
peace, love, and joy

thejess