Things are so shitty.
I really need money. And once again my efforts to find employment have lost their luster as well as my attention or enthusiasm.
It really annoys me that as a women my age in a relationship for 8 years that almost nothing has changed since day one. Couples my age are getting married, going on vacations, hell, even having kids. I really sometimes feel that that is never going to be the case. I feel like I'm taking care of a grown up, thus limiting my sparse resources on someone semi-undeserving. Is it so much to ask for a normal relationship? Where things are a little less dependent on me all the time? If my car broke down or I needed a lift from school, I'm always on my own as far as relying on my partner goes. It's really frustrating because the years of tolerating, forgiving, taking back, and waiting have really gone over their limits.
But love is blind. And hope is something I can't shake for many situations. Someone is depending on me right now and I can't just leave someone in the dark or without a home or place to call home. I'm not that cruel.
I've been ready for a long time to let a man be a man and take care of my needs. There's nothing wrong with being a self-earning female, but it gets old when I'm providing for both myself and a grown man. The worst part is, the audacity he has when I bring up such issues. Ugh it's such a mess. Such a roller coaster of nonsense.
It's very.....very annoying.
I know how you feel, it's hard being the dependable one all the time. It's a little scary to think if something were to happen who will take care of you.
ReplyDeleteLike children men can be spoiled brats too and sometimes we just need to step back and let them fend for themselves for a while.