Talk about angry to the point of EXPLODING in a very ugly way...
That's what I feel like today. Although nothing eventfully terrible occurred today, I'm frustrated and PISSED OFF.
I'd rather NOT fucking talk about it, but would much rather just vent out a little on what I'm FEELING. And I'm honestly feeling like an ASSHOLE. That's right, an asshole. That would best describe it. It's all under the surface, and I think it's in my best interest to let it fucking stay there.
Anyway.
I missed the fucking Function Club meeting today. Everyone departed early because 2 people showed up (my friends) and I was late because of FUCKING FUCK FUCKING TRAFFIC FUCK! again. After that, I sat in a class with a lecture MINUS a fucking power point presentation and cell phone. I had to skip out on my meeting with Jay tonight.......yeah, GAY.......................... And instead I'll be meeting up with him tomorrow...my busiest. fucking. day.
And to put the icing on the cake....
Nevermind.
I also have forgotten to register on the 7th for new fucking classes. So now I'm gonna get all the LAME classes at SHITTY ASS times.
My guy hasn't responded to my calls about green, which he keeps SWEARING that he'll be around.
Why tell me you'll be around and then not be? Not having tree makes me mad. Waste of time.
Well. I don't feel better, but my blood pressure is thanking me.
FTW. I'll be in my room tonight working on the show.
Hope everyone's well.
jess.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Good things' a comin'
So, I'm pretty beat.
I spent the day relaxing, running a shopping errand, and chilling with my friend Dan to an amazing 2 bowls of sour diesel. I got all in the zone to write but I didn't bother. I'll do another all nighter Thursday. I'll figure it out. With the way the project is rolling, I'm confident the first episode will be cut and dry complete this Thursday.
This Thursday is also my first Function Club meeting for Web Design. I'm secretary. I guess it's good to be involved in that stuff at school. For my own benefit as well as resume brownie points. I have another poem workshop tomorrow night in class, and I'll be using the one I posted earlier this week, the "Blissful blah blah in the backseat of longing"
I feel really positive, but I feel like shit too. I don't know why. Maybe I just need some rest. I've worked enough tonight and I'm looking forward to recharging this mental battery.
I need to keep working and diving into school and Blazer Show. It's one of the few things keeping me sane and feeling great about myself, considering my diet is equaling FAIL on and off. Spring, I hope to be EXTRA back into it. I'll be okay. Patience is important.
I was gonna post Blazer Show stuff but I'll do it at the end of the week perhaps.
Hope everyone's doing well :)
Jess
I spent the day relaxing, running a shopping errand, and chilling with my friend Dan to an amazing 2 bowls of sour diesel. I got all in the zone to write but I didn't bother. I'll do another all nighter Thursday. I'll figure it out. With the way the project is rolling, I'm confident the first episode will be cut and dry complete this Thursday.
This Thursday is also my first Function Club meeting for Web Design. I'm secretary. I guess it's good to be involved in that stuff at school. For my own benefit as well as resume brownie points. I have another poem workshop tomorrow night in class, and I'll be using the one I posted earlier this week, the "Blissful blah blah in the backseat of longing"
I feel really positive, but I feel like shit too. I don't know why. Maybe I just need some rest. I've worked enough tonight and I'm looking forward to recharging this mental battery.
I need to keep working and diving into school and Blazer Show. It's one of the few things keeping me sane and feeling great about myself, considering my diet is equaling FAIL on and off. Spring, I hope to be EXTRA back into it. I'll be okay. Patience is important.
I was gonna post Blazer Show stuff but I'll do it at the end of the week perhaps.
Hope everyone's doing well :)
Jess
Friday, February 4, 2011
WOW!
So it's about 6:50 in the a.m. and I'm kinda blissfully speechless. I can't believe that the first 3 quarters of the show is already written, in full funtiona-
Ok, so I'm back at 7:04 a.m. Good thing I asked the guard at the front desk to keep an eye out for when residents leave for work and the lot has free parking spots open. Now I have an awesome window of 4 hours for a much needed nap before my class, without worrying about my whip bein' towed. And. I'm already in the city. AND. Blazer Show is almost there...
Jay worked with me arduously throughout the course of the night. I read him what I had, gave him material I've written, and talked the first episode out to him. Not only did he jump into the project full throttle, but he also completely allowed Blazer Show to take flight. Writing awesome dialog with ease, and really identifying each characters persona and voice; accurately, I might add, to what I wanted them to. I feel like I'm fucking soaring through the sky right now. As though this is fuckin' ALRIGHT yo. It's blowing my mind. "Oh my god...this is the show!" To hear the characters interact with one another appropriately. To see how they each act individually and as a whole with the story-line, I couldn't be happier. Jay has proved himself a valuable asset on this journey to completion, and I openly welcome him in the writing process as an official part of Blazer Show.
Created by: Jess Ramsey & Gee Terado
Written by: Jay Gambit, Jess Ramsey
Co-written by: Gee Terado
Artwork and Character design/animation by: Gee Terado
More names to come, let's hope! I'm SURE Noel will want a part of it other than vocally, as well as a few others.
I feel like there's a real team driving this shit home right now, and my mind is floating happily. Buzzing with positive vibes of a plausible successful future, pride, and accomplishment. This is only the beginning. As I work with Gee on the premise of the show in the first season and remaining 4 out of 6 episodes, Jay will place them together structurally in proper script format. An episode a week. We'll be done in 2 months, with it all polished. Then we record voices (Which is gonna be super easy), and then we talk animation. The website is noob-ish but the skeletal structure is in place, and all it needs is tweaking. Jay and I reviewed the Cartoon Network submission form....omg. I'm so excited.
Aside from that, I look forward to talking to Gee about what we've gotten done this evening ASAP. I know he'll love it, and I can't wait to hear his feedback. And everyone elses' ;)
Aside from that, I'm busting my ass in school. I missed one with the flu, and otherwise maintain a perfect attendance. I participate vigilantly in classroom discussions, answering questions, acing quizzes, and even becoming Secretary of the Function club for web design. I am time managing with school work and striving forward for those straight A's and HOPEFULLY a best of quarter award for either my Creative Writing class or, especially, my E-Learning Design program. I am putting 120 percent into my studies right now. I want something to be proud of when I leave this place for good, and venture out into the unknown that will be my life.
All I need now is a damn job, to lose weight little by little, and find a good weed connect...cause fuck knows I haven't found SHIT!
I'm accomplishing my goals.
Everything's paying off now.
After class last night, I gave a friend a ride home in the city. She was recently mugged and so apprehensive about walking home at night. I insisted to drive her home after this particular class, and for her to call me anytime she felt that way and I'd help if I could. When parking over at Jays, I found my car to be stuck. For 15 minutes I tried everything in the book, all the tricks of the trade, but the damn thing wouldn't budge. Looking up from the steering wheel in frustration after digging and using rubber mats under the tires, a pleasant looking man, successful, young, was taking off his probably 100 dollar pair of gloves.
"You need a little help there? Can I offer a hand?" He was so charming and caring, and had a lovely smile. Jay came down and him and Andrew (This generous stranger) began pushing. Before I knew it, another gentleman ran from across the street, and the 3 of them got my car over that pile of ice. It reminded me of how the Universe DOES in fact give back. And just now, another example...when moving my car to a permanent spot in the lot, the woman next to me was leaving. She was stuck. I pushed her car out of that spot for her, and she thanked me. And so, karma and the Universe reveals itself in that beautiful slice of a moment sometimes....beautiful. Not to mention the security guard stood post and texted me personally when a spot opened up! There are good people in this world. Within mankind. Our species. We all pay it forward with positivity and care.
On the way in the building, while quickly chatting with the guard, a man asked me if I did web design. He runs a martial art school and really might want videos, a web site and all for his students. I tossed him my business email and an opportunity just might show itself in the future.
:: sigh :: These moments remind me that we all need a little help sometimes. And as far as Blazer Show goes....on point.
Symbolism in life is sexy. I love it.
thejess.
Ok, so I'm back at 7:04 a.m. Good thing I asked the guard at the front desk to keep an eye out for when residents leave for work and the lot has free parking spots open. Now I have an awesome window of 4 hours for a much needed nap before my class, without worrying about my whip bein' towed. And. I'm already in the city. AND. Blazer Show is almost there...
Jay worked with me arduously throughout the course of the night. I read him what I had, gave him material I've written, and talked the first episode out to him. Not only did he jump into the project full throttle, but he also completely allowed Blazer Show to take flight. Writing awesome dialog with ease, and really identifying each characters persona and voice; accurately, I might add, to what I wanted them to. I feel like I'm fucking soaring through the sky right now. As though this is fuckin' ALRIGHT yo. It's blowing my mind. "Oh my god...this is the show!" To hear the characters interact with one another appropriately. To see how they each act individually and as a whole with the story-line, I couldn't be happier. Jay has proved himself a valuable asset on this journey to completion, and I openly welcome him in the writing process as an official part of Blazer Show.
Created by: Jess Ramsey & Gee Terado
Written by: Jay Gambit, Jess Ramsey
Co-written by: Gee Terado
Artwork and Character design/animation by: Gee Terado
More names to come, let's hope! I'm SURE Noel will want a part of it other than vocally, as well as a few others.
I feel like there's a real team driving this shit home right now, and my mind is floating happily. Buzzing with positive vibes of a plausible successful future, pride, and accomplishment. This is only the beginning. As I work with Gee on the premise of the show in the first season and remaining 4 out of 6 episodes, Jay will place them together structurally in proper script format. An episode a week. We'll be done in 2 months, with it all polished. Then we record voices (Which is gonna be super easy), and then we talk animation. The website is noob-ish but the skeletal structure is in place, and all it needs is tweaking. Jay and I reviewed the Cartoon Network submission form....omg. I'm so excited.
Aside from that, I look forward to talking to Gee about what we've gotten done this evening ASAP. I know he'll love it, and I can't wait to hear his feedback. And everyone elses' ;)
Aside from that, I'm busting my ass in school. I missed one with the flu, and otherwise maintain a perfect attendance. I participate vigilantly in classroom discussions, answering questions, acing quizzes, and even becoming Secretary of the Function club for web design. I am time managing with school work and striving forward for those straight A's and HOPEFULLY a best of quarter award for either my Creative Writing class or, especially, my E-Learning Design program. I am putting 120 percent into my studies right now. I want something to be proud of when I leave this place for good, and venture out into the unknown that will be my life.
All I need now is a damn job, to lose weight little by little, and find a good weed connect...cause fuck knows I haven't found SHIT!
I'm accomplishing my goals.
Everything's paying off now.
After class last night, I gave a friend a ride home in the city. She was recently mugged and so apprehensive about walking home at night. I insisted to drive her home after this particular class, and for her to call me anytime she felt that way and I'd help if I could. When parking over at Jays, I found my car to be stuck. For 15 minutes I tried everything in the book, all the tricks of the trade, but the damn thing wouldn't budge. Looking up from the steering wheel in frustration after digging and using rubber mats under the tires, a pleasant looking man, successful, young, was taking off his probably 100 dollar pair of gloves.
"You need a little help there? Can I offer a hand?" He was so charming and caring, and had a lovely smile. Jay came down and him and Andrew (This generous stranger) began pushing. Before I knew it, another gentleman ran from across the street, and the 3 of them got my car over that pile of ice. It reminded me of how the Universe DOES in fact give back. And just now, another example...when moving my car to a permanent spot in the lot, the woman next to me was leaving. She was stuck. I pushed her car out of that spot for her, and she thanked me. And so, karma and the Universe reveals itself in that beautiful slice of a moment sometimes....beautiful. Not to mention the security guard stood post and texted me personally when a spot opened up! There are good people in this world. Within mankind. Our species. We all pay it forward with positivity and care.
On the way in the building, while quickly chatting with the guard, a man asked me if I did web design. He runs a martial art school and really might want videos, a web site and all for his students. I tossed him my business email and an opportunity just might show itself in the future.
:: sigh :: These moments remind me that we all need a little help sometimes. And as far as Blazer Show goes....on point.
Symbolism in life is sexy. I love it.
thejess.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Blissful Thoughts in the Backseat of Longing
This is a poem I'm working on for my Creative Writing class. It's very dear and close to my heart, as it describes the best moments of my life in Philadelphia with my closest of friends in the dorms. I love you all. Enjoy. Feedback is always welcomed.
Blissful Thoughts in the Backseat of Longing
I remember when the clouds sang silently to us each morning.
And summertime rang and rose up throughout halls.
The vibrant glow of the waking sun leisurely climbing the walls.
As towers cast drastic shadows that sliced into that desolate concrete jungle.
Corner stands billowed redolent palatable swirls. Good eats.
How the smell traversed amidst the mucky staleness of that inimitable city.
Ambitiously navigating it's way to my sniffer. Successfully.
Reminding me that it's never too early for a fat slab of meat.
Early morns in pants with no legs and shirts with no sleeves, hair tousled.
We gathered. Sitting in our customary annulus, as the ancients once did.
Igniting that small flame that burned through noon into night.
Our relaxed giggles expelling vibes of harmonious contentment among us few.
Night rolling over our glorious city.
While lights began speckling the cosmic steel landscape like small square suns.
As our eves were ruled by haze.
Twirling in blissful plumes and spirals towards the ceiling.
But we never once saw the ceiling. We didn't know it was there.
Distracted as infectious laughter spread like wildfire through our hearts.
Splitting our sides with joy as our elation spilled out through the seems.
While we existed with brilliant illusions of endlessness.
Like superheroes we guarded the gates to our incompleteness.
Allowing our moments to be numbered with grace and beautiful ignorance.
We relished in our most elegant of times. Before life would move on without us.
Without me.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Keepin' the train on the tracks
Missed a recent get together with my favorite people. So, that wasn't cool. But we'll all see each other soon and I look forward to it.
I ate once today at dinner and it was reasonable. Other than a small snack, I think I'll be back on track. School is going well. I'm really keeping up with the work and aiming for best of quarter for my E-Learning Design class. I'm more than confident I'll win it. I haven't exactly had much to say. I've been pretty introverted mentally for a week or so, just trying to put things together.
I figured I'd post 3 poems I wrote for Creative Writing class. Show a couple things I've been doing for class. Progress, progress.
I ate once today at dinner and it was reasonable. Other than a small snack, I think I'll be back on track. School is going well. I'm really keeping up with the work and aiming for best of quarter for my E-Learning Design class. I'm more than confident I'll win it. I haven't exactly had much to say. I've been pretty introverted mentally for a week or so, just trying to put things together.
I figured I'd post 3 poems I wrote for Creative Writing class. Show a couple things I've been doing for class. Progress, progress.
‘To Ponder’
It’s often frightening,
But mostly enlightening.
Feeling alone.
Nearest star light years from home.
Where we search for life like our own.
Are humans so large?
Are we really in charge?
Are we ever so small?
Floating on our spherical ball?
These questions, we ponder.
Be there no life form fonder?
Than our existence in the Universe at all?
‘Gray’
They lurk. Hunting. Two
Opposing shades. Black on White.
Combing through the night.
He stays in the gray.
Just as the color of the
City that they prey.
He dodges. Hopes to
Evade. Waiting to be saved.
Rid this life for good.
Highways are perfect.
Endless and free. Beautiful.
Air flowing like Rain.
Glorious escape.
In more ways than one. Relief.
No such thing as pain.
End of the highway.
Where the lamp posts end. Where he's
Safe till done again.
‘The
Charming Concerto’
Climactically climbing crooked crescendos.
Tuning tones. Twisting times. Tumbling trills.
Fine fortes. Feisty fortissimo.
Tuning tones. Twisting times. Tumbling trills.
Fine fortes. Feisty fortissimo.
Melodic mechanical minds meshing.
My, what a charming concerto.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Update
So I'm finally starting to beat this cold. Still congested and feeling shitty. But I'm sure it'll fade within a few days. Now it's the time of the month thing I need to conquer. (Sorry for the too many details boys)
I'm doing really great in school so far. But I'm happy class is cancelled tonight. It's so damn cold out and I hate it! This storm is going to be pretty serious. I grabbed me a small bottle of vodka to unwind a little later and work on Blazer Show.
Now that I'm feeling better, my big ass has to get to the gym with Mary at least twice this week. I MUST LOSE WEIGHT. I've been failing at it terribly. Sometimes I feel like the whole world is hell bent on making me fail.
Still no job. Haven't lost anymore weight. I gotta keep on trying. Even if I keep failing, I'll succeed eventually. Hope everyone's hanging in there. I'll be reading.
Jess
I'm doing really great in school so far. But I'm happy class is cancelled tonight. It's so damn cold out and I hate it! This storm is going to be pretty serious. I grabbed me a small bottle of vodka to unwind a little later and work on Blazer Show.
Now that I'm feeling better, my big ass has to get to the gym with Mary at least twice this week. I MUST LOSE WEIGHT. I've been failing at it terribly. Sometimes I feel like the whole world is hell bent on making me fail.
Still no job. Haven't lost anymore weight. I gotta keep on trying. Even if I keep failing, I'll succeed eventually. Hope everyone's hanging in there. I'll be reading.
Jess
Monday, January 24, 2011
Nuclear bombs in a fine-mist stray
Still battling this intense cold. It's been a rough one! Stuffed up a lot and really soar throat. I'm sure it will pass eventually. Just gotta keep truckin.'
Back on my diet. Water, water, water. I don't wanna fall behind in my weight loss goal any further. Some guy on the news was doing a report that the previous week is notorious for when people stop carrying on with their New Years Resolutions. I laughed and told myself to stick with the good and positive changes! It's all about doing better each time around. So that's what I'm going to try and do.
School is going really well. I'm feeling straights A's again this quarter. Yet another one of my goals for the next 3 months. I'm also excited cause within one month things are gonna start getting nicer outside. April is when I really start feeling the vibes. But I think if I pay attention to school and the show, I can get there without further problems.
Just wanted to drop in. Luckily, I got a nice little nick from someone really close to me, and it's good. I'm looking forward to writing today and resting off the cold.
thejess.
Back on my diet. Water, water, water. I don't wanna fall behind in my weight loss goal any further. Some guy on the news was doing a report that the previous week is notorious for when people stop carrying on with their New Years Resolutions. I laughed and told myself to stick with the good and positive changes! It's all about doing better each time around. So that's what I'm going to try and do.
School is going really well. I'm feeling straights A's again this quarter. Yet another one of my goals for the next 3 months. I'm also excited cause within one month things are gonna start getting nicer outside. April is when I really start feeling the vibes. But I think if I pay attention to school and the show, I can get there without further problems.
Just wanted to drop in. Luckily, I got a nice little nick from someone really close to me, and it's good. I'm looking forward to writing today and resting off the cold.
thejess.
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